Dealing with distance and deployment.

[Xarazona]

This isn't my first time being in a long distance relationship, but this time I have connected with someone in a very different way. We are very like, get on so well. Love each other but he deploys very soon... about two weeks. Any advice on how to get through it? I suffer from anxiety and depression, also dependant personality disorder. I plan to write letters as often as I can, what else do people do? Thank you in advance. I'm just scared and can use some reassurance.

[hmrambling]

Depending on where he is deployed to, contact might be limited. It probably would be a good idea to see what the communication will be like where he is deployed. That will help determine if you two will be able to Skype, Facetime or how you two can connect. If letters and occasional phones calls are the only option, then the two of you can discuss how regularly you plan to write and/or call.

[kittyo9]

I have a bit of anxiety myself, and while I can't speak specifically to military relationships, I have always found that when I can't contact my SO and I'm having trouble, sitting down and writing, drawing, or just making something for him would help ease my thoughts. Sometimes I also take myself out of the moment with movies and TV shows (although there is only so much you can watch, right?). Not a lot I can say, really,

We do have a great section specifically for military couples. I know there isn't a lot, specifically, but sometimes just reading through the old threads can be helpful and give you ideas. Here are some threads that might be helpful:

https://members.lovingfromadistance....to-this-coping

https://members.lovingfromadistance....?21518-New-guy

https://members.lovingfromadistance....-he-s-deployed

https://members.lovingfromadistance....dvice-please-)

[Xarazona]

I'm Not sure where he will be deploying to, but he has said he will keep in as much contact as he was able to. He really tries for me, even before we were dating.

Thank you for the responses and I'll take a look at those threads and such. I brought some special letter stuff for this and plan to do other things. Even have plans to surprise him when he gets home next year. ^_^

[Chris516]

I'm Not sure where he will be deploying to, but he has said he will keep in as much contact as he was able to. He really tries for me, even before we were dating.

Thank you for the responses and I'll take a look at those threads and such. I brought some special letter stuff for this and plan to do other things. Even have plans to surprise him when he gets home next year. ^_^

Does he have the choice of duty stations?

[Xarazona]

I don't think he does, if he did he hasn't told me at all.

[Sparkling72]

if he's leaving in 2 wks... his choice was picked for him. My SO is currently deployed and our contact before deployment was continual throughout the day and facetime every night. Now, I'm lucky to get 1 or 2 phone calls a week. All his communication has been cut off, was without notice as well. I won't lie to you... it's very hard! But the main thing is to not let your mind play tricks on you! I get anxious as well, especially when I read something bad in the news from the area he's deployed to... but I remind myself of my role as his girlfriend. My job is to stay positive for him and not sit around feeling sorry for myself. I have nothing to feel sorry for. I remind myself that while I'm sad to sleep alone in our bed, he is sleeping alone in a very crowded room in a tiny bed with 70 other men. At least I'm in the comfort of our home... he is already feeling the impact of being away from home regularly... not eating my cooking, not enjoying our friends and family... he's out there by himself working almost non-stop. So, he doesn't need one more thing to make him sad or feel bad for being away from me... he tells me he can still read my emails, just cannot send out emails in return, so I email him a few times a day, telling him good morning, what I wore to work that day... any funny jokes I heard, other funny stories, who I ran into at the grocery store, what I made for dinner... I always conclude with how much I love him more than life itself and miss him more than I can put into words and I try very hard not to elaborate on how horrible I feel without him. I keep my own written diary for that - something I strongly suggest! when you feel miserable and need to tell him.. write in your diary or journal. physically write it on paper! The best therapy there is! You'll have good days and bad days... just always keep in mind it is just has hard if not harder on him to be away

[Chris516]

I don't think he does, if he did he hasn't told me at all.

Is he an NCO(Non-Commissioned Officer) or CO(Commissioned Officer)?

You said he is being deployed in two weeks. Does that mean he is being deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan? Is he in a combat or non-combat unit? Did he tell you the length of time for his deployment?

[sasad]

Is he an NCO(Non-Commissioned Officer) or CO(Commissioned Officer)?

You said he is being deployed in two weeks. Does that mean he is being deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan? Is he in a combat or non-combat unit? Did he tell you the length of time for his deployment?

I dont think i matters if he is enlisted or not. Also, the abbreviation CO stands for Commanding Officer (in the Navy) Not commissioned. Pretty big difference.

[Chris516]

I don't think it matters if he is enlisted or not. Also, the abbreviation CO stands for Commanding Officer (in the Navy) Not commissioned. Pretty big difference.

Normally, CO does mean 'Commanding Officer. I just referred to CO as 'Commissioned Officer' in this case to equate it with NCO for the purpose of the question.

[hmrambling]

Is he an NCO(Non-Commissioned Officer) or CO(Commissioned Officer)?

You said he is being deployed in two weeks. Does that mean he is being deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan? Is he in a combat or non-combat unit? Did he tell you the length of time for his deployment?

.....my boyfriend is currently in the US, in college and the military...

If he's in college and in the Army, chances are that he is an NCO. Commissioned officers have usually finished college. If he's in the Army, he certainly cannot be a commanding officer if he's not a commissioned officer. NCOs are not considered commanding officers, only commissioned officers are.

Whether he is commissioned or not, that doesn't mean that he is going to know in advance where he's going or what communication will be like. If/when he finds those things out, that would be a good time to discuss how the two of you will communicate.

[Chris516]

If he's in college and in the Army, chances are that he is an NCO. Commissioned officers have usually finished college. If he's in the Army, he certainly cannot be a commanding officer if he's not a commissioned officer. NCOs are not considered commanding officers, only commissioned officers are.

Whether he is commissioned or not, that doesn't mean that he is going to know in advance where he's going or what communication will be like. If/when he finds those things out, that would be a good time to discuss how the two of you will communicate.

It does matter.

[sasad]

It does matter.

Actually it doesn't. What branch and how long did you serve Chris?